that awkard moment when u see a real pretty girl on twitter and you have nothing bad to say about her picture...lol lets not pretend here every girl checks out the girl that passes by, on twitter, anywhere, we check each other. Its almost like an instinct, we gotta size em up, see what our men looking at lol and its always that one girl that you like but you almost kinda "jealous" that she cute, keep her hair done and all that but thing is you still cool with her...you know why...cause she just like you..weird i know and although most girls would never admit it but one time or another in life you have coveted another female for one reason or another..whether celebrity or a local joker..i know i have coveted chicks for many reasons. i may have coveted the way she could just laugh off what people said where i always blew up and got viewed as the mean girl when really i am just like her just trained to go..or maybe i coveted the way she could wear tennis shoes and i can't (i can but don't) bc im insecure about my feet...so you get it now?? its good to compliment yourself and others and accept compliments but its always someone out here thats prettier, thicker, bolder, and better than you...i recently learned shit its not all about the looks..9/10 of groupies are dimes. pretty bitches come a dime a dozen these days so gotta have more than that..find your own style and way of life and walk in it..don't be a follower except on twitter...lol @slimgoodie276

dreaming...for now

right now im listening to some music sorting out my clothes..goin to va today to see my fam (mainly to wash at my mamas) lol but really i havent seen my nephews goin on two weeks and thats not normal, i feel so bad so i will def have to come with candy or something in hand..anyways just sitting here on the laptop listening to some music and its like everything i "get in my zone :)" and put the music on its like my thoughts and ambitions are already like sky high but at this point in the game i really can imagine and realistically see things ive always wanted come to past and people may think im crazy but *sigh* i really believe if u can imagine something realistically now that you can do it and ive seen it happen...im not talking like close your eyese and just think about it but actually connect and be passionate about it, pray about it....im telling u, lol god is real and as i look arounf the world and see all these things happening and just sit back like we are exempt and were not...times are getting critical so thats why im like its crunchtime i gotta go hard or go home, if its something that i wanna do im gonna do it, im not afraid anymore of what people says about me, about what i do, wear, post on the internet, like im a free, no kids, no man (bittersweet), but im good (smile)...i just feel i still could give it a little more time and focus and i think thats what im gonna work on..i applied to a few things, im keeping it secret to keep from disappointment but i have a feeling good things could be brewing for me........o_O...btw i blog whatevers on my mind and right now im thinking about myself lol.......................

all day long phone keeps goin off..text msg, call, text msg, call...you know in the moment it does feel good to be thought about but when its someones husband or boyfriend women tend to think its cute when someones man contacts you but we are quick to forget how it feels to find that womans number i YOUR mans phone or forgot how much it hurt to be cheated on..i must admit i use to find satisfaction in knowing that i culd pretty much take any man from his girl if i wanted to...number one, i would never put myself out there like that and 2 i believe in karma and no matter what you've heard, what goes around comes back around 10x harder and u can take that to the bank and cash it..like the type of person i am, i get accused and disliked and ran down by females all the time bc mostly they're insecure bc im so secure or they're just you know hoping and praying that their man don't try to talk to me and thats where the confusion come in bc if i even be friends with a guy, their gf automatically think we fucking..negative..despite what anyone says...and i really don't care..i am a good person and as i said i believe in karma and i wouldn't wanna jeopardize another chicks happiness and mine in the process. i want my own man, i want a man i can trust, take around my family, go out with, meet his family, the whole 9 yards. i wanna be comfortable with him and discuss any and everything..like i want him to be able to know my period is a day late lol....i just wana be happy, with a puppy and a white picket fence but i know that doesn't come easy and without any work...the type of person i am, i always get attached too fast and end of letting my insecurities and previous relationships mess up any potential in this new one. so moving forward im working more on my patience, securitites, and my attitiude which is feisty and demanding!! sooooo bye bye taken man!!

step ya mommy skills up

now i don't have kids but i am a proud auntie to 7 beautiful nephews!! i hope one day god will make it possible for me to be able to have kids but if thats in my plan it will happen and  the way i see parents doin their child,it makes people like me upset and angry. I've had two major surgeries before the age of 22 one of which cuts my chances of having kids to 50% and the sight of seeing mothers jut giving kids away for adoption so they can party, sending them to live with grandparents etc..like that really hurts my heart cause i would give anything to be able to get assured that i could bare kids. I often sit and cry to myself and ask god you know why did i have to go through the things that i did but i know you not suppose to question god but sometimes you know it gets overwhelming and i can't help it..i personally was never a baby person, no patience, wouldn't hold them or nothing but when my nephews started popping up and i found a new love, i found that through the turmoil that my mother and i was undergoin and the absence of my father, i could truly have real love and never have to worry about getting my heartbroke (pause) (tear)..things for me as i previously told u was that people to me think that im all this hard person when really, sometimes i just wanna cry and tell the world whats on my mind...people talk about the person who decided to cut off one side of their hair or mitch match or something but i respect that individual that everyone classifys as a freak of nature and u know why? cause he was bold enough and didn't care what nobod thinks about him being hisself..now thats revelation....im so inspired right now. with tears streaming down my face i just got a release in writing and expressing those secret feelings so if anyones reading this...i appreciate u sharing the experience!

ok im confused about this whole real vs fake thing....lets break this down so according to "society" being fake consists primarily of (being cool with someone whom u once was feuding with, talking to someone whom one of your associates dont fool with, doin something that you once downed someone for, living seperate lives from real life and social networks,  etc) and i guess its safe to say that being real is (being down with your "friends" no matter what right or wrong. only associating with your "circle")..ok so tell me this..who on earth has a heaven or hell to put you in? nobody so i don't understand why people actually abide by these broke ass man made rule regarding your validation on the streets. im me, i talk to, chill with, go out and associate with whoever i so desire. My friends or family does not tell me who i can and can't talk to and likewise..I mean like people are so quick to judge and down the next man/woman when the reality is thats not the real you..be true be you and if society don't like it, to hell with em. I am 22 years old, i came from nothing, got a lil sum now, working on expanding that, one day i do believe that i will be well known and thats my dream and im secure and confident with that and there is nobody walking this planet that can take my dreM away and thats real...you have to realize people gone talk to the day you die but you don't have to listen and fall victim to all the madness....some people scould put focus their kids and making their real life situations better rATHER than worrying about the next persons prob and the sad part is, the women are worse than the men these days with the bullying, real vs fake and the violence. Its like women want a man so bad that they imitate em, try to be like em....in my closing all ima say is god said adam and eve not adam and adam but thats a whole nother entry!! o_O

randomness

i think people often get the wrong impression of me according to the things that i say and the way i look..maybe i can be a bit too outspoken and sometimes people read too deep into the things that i say or don't take the time to get to me and just live by the opinions of a friend..my worst fear is that i will die misunderstood and that feeling is like non other. I just want to be respected for being myself..i don't wanna be like anyone else who just blend in and try to make everyone happy..ima rebel but loving, shy but outspoken and the most beautiful most dirty person you could ever meet!! my friends and my family love me hate me then love me again and thats what makes us unique..i wouldn't have it any other way...zzzZZ im hungry!!

GOOD MORNING!!

aww two good morning text to start my day~good morning world!! no matter what time i go to sleep, im always up before 8 am!!! typical....hmph!!