step ya mommy skills up

now i don't have kids but i am a proud auntie to 7 beautiful nephews!! i hope one day god will make it possible for me to be able to have kids but if thats in my plan it will happen and  the way i see parents doin their child,it makes people like me upset and angry. I've had two major surgeries before the age of 22 one of which cuts my chances of having kids to 50% and the sight of seeing mothers jut giving kids away for adoption so they can party, sending them to live with grandparents etc..like that really hurts my heart cause i would give anything to be able to get assured that i could bare kids. I often sit and cry to myself and ask god you know why did i have to go through the things that i did but i know you not suppose to question god but sometimes you know it gets overwhelming and i can't help it..i personally was never a baby person, no patience, wouldn't hold them or nothing but when my nephews started popping up and i found a new love, i found that through the turmoil that my mother and i was undergoin and the absence of my father, i could truly have real love and never have to worry about getting my heartbroke (pause) (tear)..things for me as i previously told u was that people to me think that im all this hard person when really, sometimes i just wanna cry and tell the world whats on my mind...people talk about the person who decided to cut off one side of their hair or mitch match or something but i respect that individual that everyone classifys as a freak of nature and u know why? cause he was bold enough and didn't care what nobod thinks about him being hisself..now thats revelation....im so inspired right now. with tears streaming down my face i just got a release in writing and expressing those secret feelings so if anyones reading this...i appreciate u sharing the experience!